Love is not a practical matter
One of my favorite, somewhat obscure, movies is Meet Joe Black. It stars Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt. Pitt plays “Death” and he takes the form of a young man killed in an accident, asks a media mogul to act as his guide to teach him about life on Earth and, in the process, he falls in love with the mogul's daughter.
An odd premise, but the movie is ultimately about loving someone more than your own life. Anthony Hopkins shares a wonderful scene with his daughter when he gives his thoughts about love.
As the movie progresses, you learn that he has lost his wife who he deeply loved and as he approaches death, he wants his daughter to know the same love in her life that he knew. I can certainly relate to the sentiments that he shares in this scene. There is nothing we want more for our children than to love and be loved passionately and unconditionally.
As your children grow older and move on with their own lives, your relationship with your spouse becomes the central part of your life. You spend more time together. You need each other more. You depend on each other more. Sharing this time with the love of your life is a blessing that cannot be measured. It makes growing older something to look forward to, as opposed to something to fear. It is the best gift you can be given.
There are so many things that make up loving someone with all your heart. Unlike your children, who you love unconditionally with their first breath, we have to find our partner and they have to find us. They have to be able to see and love the best and worst parts of us. And, we need to see the same and love the same in the them. To truly love someone, it has to be an equal partnership where both people put the “us” before the “me” in every circumstance. Being loved unconditionally allows us to love unconditionally. You can’t find it any other way.
Love is a combination of so many little things. When you truly love someone, the little things make you smile. I love the way my wife lights up around our grandsons. I love to watch her create in the kitchen. I love how she supports her friends. I love taking walks with her and talking about our day. I love how she takes so much pride in everything she does.
My wife and I are 14 years apart with very different backgrounds. We have our own interests and hobbies. We are very different people. We found each other later in life. After more than 15 years of marriage, I still see her as I did when I asked her to marry me. It is a love that will sustain me the rest of my life. It is at the core of everything that is good in my life. It is a gift that I hope everyone that I care about experiences in their lives. It makes life worth living.