Life is about what you do, not what you say.

Today is my Mother’s birthday. She would have been 85 today. If your Mother is still around, go see her or call her today. Give her a hug and tell her that you love her.

As I have stated in previous blogs, I believe in the power of words. I love how words can paint a picture in your mind that is completely unique to you. Why do you start a blog if you don’t love words? But if your actions don’t validate your words, then they have no meaning. What you do trumps what you say all day, everyday. And often these actions require no words at all to be incredibly powerful and meaningful.

During football season in my junior year in high school, my Dad had to go to King of Prussia, Pennsylvania to training for work. About 400 miles from home. He told me that he was going to miss my game on Friday night because his class would not get out until 5:00 pm, so he would not be able to make it back. I usually played receiver and defensive back, but that night I was going to play quarterback. I don’t recall the circumstances, but I think our starter may have been hurt? I was disappointed my Dad could not be there. As warm-ups finished up and we were getting ready for the game to start, I looked over toward the entrance and saw my Dad coming through the gate. He had told the instructor that he was leaving early because he was not missing the game. He showed up for me. Just like he always did. And it meant the world to me.

Many years later, I paid that forward twice because I knew what it meant to me. I left a meeting in Nashville early and drove 7 hours to get to Garret’s football game in Ritchie County. I literally walked in the gate as he kicked off. I got to see him make a 42-yarder that night.

The following May, I skipped the last day of a golf trip in Myrtle Beach to drive 10 hours home for Chelsey’s regional softball game. It was where I needed and wanted to be. These special events only happen once and if you miss them, you don’t get a chance to make that up.

Sometimes I don’t think people realize the effects of their actions. Simple gestures can have a lasting impact and they tell you so much about a person. Steve Shaffer at Community Bank was my banker for years. Steve is the kind of guy that can relate to anyone. From farmer to corporate executive, he treats everyone the same. I never had wealth, but he treated me like I did. Steve and I never really interacted outside of banking needs other than occasionally crossing paths at a golf course, but I considered him a friend.

When my father died, I vividly remember being at the funeral home during the visitation, greeting people in a state of numbness and looking up and seeing Steve walking in. I have never forgotten it. A simple gesture that meant so much to me. Steve has since retired and we are good friends and play a lot of golf together. I know I am important to him by his actions.

Nobody that I have ever known personified this adage of “actions over words” more that my Uncle Tom. The coolest guy I ever knew and one of the quietest. In fact, I don’t think he ever told me that he loved me, but I knew it without a doubt. Tom showed up. He showed up for me and for my kids. He made such an impact on so many people by his actions and his incredibly dry sense of humor. He said very little but communicated so much to the people that he loved. And when he did tell you something important, you better listen because he wasn’t telling you again.

I remember my mother recalling a time early in their marriage, after they had moved to Columbus. My mom was terribly homesick and came home to Williamstown, leaving my dad in Columbus. She was at my grandmother’s house and Tom was there as she was relaying that she didn’t think she could live in Columbus. Tom, who knew what a good man my dad was just looked at her and said “Sis, don’t throw your life away” and walked out. And she listened.

Tom showed up at my games and my kid’s games. He showed up for my mom when my dad passed away. He was a big part of our family. He taught me so much about being a man without saying much at all. I just watched and learned and laughed and appreciated. His impact on my life is immeasurable.

My grandson is Charles Thomas Butler. We refer to him as “T” most of the time. We called Uncle Tom “Big T.” I can’t think of a bigger demonstration of love and respect than that.

We were so fortunate to have had Tom and my Aunt Linda accompany our family to Nags Head on a beach trip a few years before he passed. He kept everyone laughing all week. It reminded me of when I was a kid and my family went to Myrtle Beach with Tom’s family many years in a row. I always loved being around him and I looked up to him so much. Always trying to be as cool as Tom, but never quite succeeding. He was a true original. He always made me feel special and important without ever really saying much at all. I will keep him in my heart and in my actions until my last breath.