Embracing change

Like many people, I have become a Chris Stapleton fan. His rendition of the national anthem at the Super Bowl will probably grow his fan base even more as new people discover more of his music. I love a set of lyrics from “Starting Over.” It speaks of embracing the unknown and not being afraid of change.

This might not be an easy time

There's rivers to cross and hills to climb

And some days we might fall apart

And some nights might feel cold and dark

But nobody wins afraid of losing

And the hard roads are the ones worth choosing

Some day we'll look back and smile

And know it was worth every mile

Some of the greatest blessing in life come to us contrary to the plan that we have mapped out in our minds. A crossroads we did not expect. Maybe even a dead end that forces us to regroup and re-evaluate our plan. Or ditch the plan all together.

I was very fortunate to work with a group of young, bright, and passionate people at Paramore in Nashville. I had become friends with the owner Hannah Paramore through a conference where she spoke and I attended. We stayed in contact and I eventually went to work for Paramore as an account director and later became a vice-president.

Paramore was a digital marketing agency that represented clients primarily in the travel industry, but also clients in education, health, and other fields. During my tenure, the company moved downtown with a lighted sign on the skyline. You could even download an APP that would change the color of the Paramore sign on the building with a simple touch. Cool place. Smart people.

After initially being overwhelmed by what I did not know about the digital world and the fact that I felt 20 years older than the rest of the team, I eventually started to feel like I was getting my groove. I worked from home in WV most of the time and spent several days in Nashville each month. This was my routine for about three years.

And then one day it ended. A phone call and I was out of job. Something that I had never experienced before. A dead end. After feelings of anger, panic and failure, I got my thoughts straight and began working on finding a new plan. As I began to gain some perspective, I realized that I understood the logic of the decision and I understood how difficult a decision it had to have been for Hannah, who was my boss, but also my friend. I focused on what I had learned during my tenure and being grateful for the experience that I had been given. It ultimately made me better at my profession and more valuable and marketable. I think without the experience, I would not have ended up in my current role which I love and appreciate. The dead end made me find a new road that led me to even better things. Hannah and I are better friends today than ever.

I have written about my father in previous blogs. He was my hero. Best person I have ever known. I relied on him for strength and advice. And when he died, I wondered what I would do without his presence in my life. I was struggling through a divorce and dealing with a lot of dark days.

As I began to write my dad’s eulogy, I began to find some sense of peace and a renewed sense of purpose. Reflecting on what he meant to me reminded me of who I needed to be for the people that I love. Delivering his eulogy was the first step in an internal change of mind and heart. Looking back, the worst day of my life changed my life for the better in many ways. It was pivotal in being a better man and father. It made me appreciate how precious time is and how important relationships are. It made me focus on the things that I can control and release those things that I cannot.

I wish my father was still here. I think about him every day. But, he has never left me. Maybe he protected me from ever seeing him old, or reversing our roles, or watching him become a shell of himself? For that, I am grateful. Hopefully, my family sees me as I saw him. That would be my greatest tribute to him and a life well-lived.

Being “Pap” is my favorite role of all. One that I was completely unprepared for and not anticipating. I love my son and his wife, but frankly when they shared the news with us my first thought was “oh no.” They were young and just finding their way and it seemed like the last thing that they needed at the time. During the pregnancy, my thoughts were more of concern than joy. Then, Thomas decided to come early. After a dramatic entry into the world, he was in the NICU in Morgantown for several days. He was so small and so fragile. While in the hospital, they had a camera feed on him that you could look at 24/7 and we looked at him all the time. When he got to go home, it was tough not to be able to check on him anytime we wanted.

Thomas will be 5 years old in May. I cannot even begin to describe how much I love that little guy and what joy he has brought to the world. My heart melts whenever I hear “Hey Pap” which is usually followed by some plan that ends up in him getting a toy or some ice cream. He is now a big brother to Maverick and talks a blue streak all day long. Garret and Kristen are good parents and being a father has brought my son and I closer together.

This little blond haired boy who disrupted the plan has made my world full of more joy and love than I could have imagined prior to him bursting onto the scene. He makes me optimistic about the future. He fills my heart and I cannot imagine a better plan than the one he created.