You cannot cross a burnt bridge.

One of the more difficult lessons that I have learned over time is that things don’t always go the way you would have hoped. Even the best laid plans can sometimes lead down a dead end street. Ideas or direction that may seem crystal clear to us often do not resonate with others. Relationships begin, grow, and sometimes end or take a path that was unforeseen. This is true in business and personal relationships.

When things start down the wrong path, it easy to get frustrated, get your feelings hurt, and say or do things that are hurtful or spiteful. When we allow ourselves to succumb to these feelings, we cross a line that a relationship probably cannot recover from.

At the time, you think that you will never need that person again or you will never be in a position again that you will want that relationship back in your life. You may want to move on and not look back. You could set fire to that bridge.

However, we never really know what the future will hold for us or where our journey in life may lead us. I believe people of character and confidence don’t burn bridges. They understand that sometimes relationships don’t go as planned. They know the “high road” will always pay off in the long run.

One particular instance comes to mind on this topic.

After a 10 year career at Stonewall Marketing, I accepted a position with Paramore Digital in Nashville. Hannah Paramore owned the company and we had met several times at various conferences and developed a friendship and appreciation for each others work. I traveled to Nashville one week a month for three years and worked from home the rest of the time. I learned a great deal from Hannah and her team. However, we struggled to sign business here in West Virginia and I struggled being a “part time” member of the team.

Early one morning in December, Hannah called me and durng the conversation she said “things just are not working out” like we had hoped. It was the first time I had ever lost a job. I was hurt, frustrated, disappointed, and scared. At first, I wanted to be mad at Hannah and blame her for the situation “she” put me in. But as I began to think logically, I understood that this was a situation “I” put myself in and she was doing what was in the best interests of the company. Even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself.

I did my very best to handle the situation with grace and respect. And she did as well. We didn’t communicate much for a time afterward but then began to touch base occasionally. Hannah married a golf pro and our shared love for golf created more opportunities to interact and be together. Hannah, her husband Bill, Nikki, and I are now very close friends. We traveled to Mexico together and we have spent several weekends at their home in Nashville. It is a friendship that continues to grow and is very important me and Nikki.

I am glad I didn’t burn this bridge. Nikki and I would have missed out on a wonderful friendship with amazing people.