Empty Nesters Again
Lea heads back to Ohio University on Sunday to begin her senior year. Emmy moved to Florida a month ago, so Nikki and I will be empty nesters again next week. It is possible that we may be empty nesters from now on. It is incredible to think that time has flown by so quickly. Seems just like yesterday that the house was always full of people, chaos, and places that everybody needed to be.
It is a time that makes me reflect on the past and wonder if we did all that we could to prepare everyone for life. I know we made a lot of mistakes. Hopefully, we did some things right.
I have learned a lot about parenting from my wife. She is patient, calm, and practical when it comes to parenting. She is a positive example and has learned how to motivate and empower. A great example of her wisdom happened recently with a project she asked Lea to do for us. Lea is an interior architecture major at OU and interned this summer at North South Design in Parkersburg. Nikki asked Lea to develop a new design for our family room. A motivating, positive experience for Lea to flex her design muscles in a comfortable environment. Lea tackled the project and prepared the plan, picked all the furnishings, and paint colors.
The project gave Lea and Nikki a fun, exciting exercise to share and do together. The project became a family affair. We needed Garret to add electric above the fireplace so we could move the TV, help hang new lights, and he changed out all the recepticals to white for us. Good to have a handy guy around. Me? I am the grunt labor and painter.
The design will be complete once we find a new coffee table and end tables. Lea did a beautiful job with the design and I know it will give her confidence moving forward as she pursues a career after graduation.
We couldn’t be more proud of all four of our children. We each brought two kids to the party in the beginning and we have done our best to blend, love, guide, and cherish all of them. I would be lying if I said that we have no guilt for not giving these kids a “traditional” upbringing like we both had. I cannot imagine what it feels like for a kid to go through a divorce. I know what an impact it had on me as an adult going through it and making the decisions. It must be much harder for a child that has no control over their circumstances.
Our goal as parents has always been to demonstrate a good marriage, love for each other, and a true partnership. Because that is what we want for each of them.
I think one of the reasons we love these two “turkeys” so much is that being grandparents is particularly special because we never had children together. Four was plenty. I felt like I was too old and we wanted everyone on equal ground. So, Thomas and Maverick have been an extra special blessings to us. We started from the very beginning with them, together. It is a special feeling for both of us.
Nikki and I have a good “empty nester” routine and love having each other all to ourselves. We miss the kids but know that our role was to prepare them to go off on their own and make their own way in life. It is good to see them grow into their lives.
We know they cannot fly with us hanging on. They need to make their own way and follow paths that make sense to them. Just as we did.
I hope we have been a positive force and continue to be a source of comfort for all four kids, partners, and grandchildren.