Defining Moments & Moments of Beauty
If you think about it, our lives are a series of moments woven together to create the fabric that is our life. Our memory works this way. We recall certain moments from our past, while others fade completely away from our memories. Most moments in our lives are normal, mundane, and non-eventful. They make up our regular day-to-day life.
“But then there are moments that change the course of our lives. Sometimes in a good way and often in a bad way. ”
But then there are moments that change the course of our lives. Sometimes in a good way and often in a bad way. As a parent, there are few moments that match the feeling of utter love when you hold your child for the very first time. That overwhelming sense of responsibility coupled with instant, unconditional love for that tiny new human that is yours. Such joy is experienced few times in our lives.
On the other end of the spectrum, the funeral of a parent, where you seem to almost have an “out of body” experience as you watch what is happening, while not really believing it is happening. When the service ends, you know you will be different moving forward
We also are occasionally blessed with a moment of sheer beauty. A moment that you didn’t expect, but wish it could last forever. When you realize the beauty of life, or the grace of people, or the incredible wonders of our world. When you cannot wipe the smile off your face and you feel a deep sense of peace and joy. These moments are to be cherished.
I vividly recall sitting on my used couch in my tiny apartment on Front Street in Marietta after moving out of my house during my divorce. Looking around this little space at age 40 and trying understand how things had gotten to this point in my life. Feeling like an utter failure. Feeling like I had ruined my kids lives. Feeling like there was no hope for the future. Feeling like I would never have love in my life. I sat there for the longest time just staring at the wall, fighting back tears. I had hit bottom.
I remember that moment often now. Not because of the despair that I felt, but because none of those feelings I had at the time came true.
Tom (left) and Wayne King (right) supporting the Yellow Jackets.
I have written in previous blogs about my Uncle Tom. After he passed, I had the privilege of giving his eulogy. My emotions had remained in check throughout the visitation and during the service. I got through the eulogy with just one little moment where I had to take a breath to keep my composure. I was surprised how “well” I was doing. As I waited with the other pallbearers to take the casket out of the funeral home, we watched as the attendant came over and closed the casket. As the lid shut, I felt every emotion that I had been holding in me come pouring out like a wave. I felt the loss of this man that I loved so very much. I felt the loss of my parents all over agin. I broke down and sobbed, hard. I still remember John Knapp putting his arm around me and squeezing me tight.
I don’t try to hold back my emotions anymore.
There is nothing like watching your children experience success. We have been blessed to watch our kids do a lot of amazing things. We have also been there when things didn’t go the way that they had hoped. Sharing their triumphs and supporting them in their losses is a big part of parenting.
“Occasionally, there is a moment of utter beauty. ”
Occasionally, there is a moment of utter beauty. One such happened on a football field on a September night in Ravenswood, West Virginia. Garret was a talented field goal kicker and punter. We knew he had the ability to break the school field goal record of 47 yards that had stood for many years. But would he ever get the opportunity? And if so, could he rise to the pressure?
As fate would have it, the answer to both questions was yes. But the way it happened was hard to believe. In his senior season, during the third quarter of a game that we have in control, our offense gets stopped on the Ravenswood 28 yard line. Coach Smith sent in the field goal team and Garret makes the 45-yarder. (FYI for non-football fans, the ball is placed 7 yards behind the line of scrimmage and the uprights are 10 yards behind the goal line). The 45-yarder was the longest of his career, but still 2 yards short of the record. However, after they signal it good, we see a penalty marker on the ground. One of our players had jumped off-side. 5 yard penalty. Garret looks to Coach Smith on the sideline, who says kick it again.
The opportunity had arrived. The ball was moved back 5 yards and if he made it, Garret would set a new school record of 50 yards. Uncle Tom, my friend Wayne, and I watched in disbelief. As Garret prepared to kick, I held my breath. What a beautiful site watching that ball fly through the uprights with room to spare. He did it. It was truly a moment of beauty. A rare thing indeed.
After the field goal and the ensuing kick-off, I made my way down the bleachers to the fence behind the sidelines and hollered “hey #9” (the same number I wore 30 years before) to get Garret’s attention. He came over to the fence. I didn’t say a word. I reached out my hand and shook his hand. Another beautiful moment on a beautiful night.
After the game, Tom, Wayne, and I made our way down to the field to see Garret. He was being congratulated by many folks and then he saw us and he came over. Before I could say anything, Tom, a man a few words, gave Garret a big hug and said “I love you boy.” Perhaps the most beautiful moment of the night.